It feels like forever since I have written anything substantial on this. Life goes on. That is huge and sometimes I do not realise how huge that is. Laura is well: tired a lot, nauseous occasionally, but doing well considered she is on chemo drugs. Our next scans are in early January. There you go, I say our next scans while it really is Laura’s scans. At times, I find myself stepping into Laura’s mind and thinking it is both of us with cancer and both of us that are on this ugly journey of metastatic breast cancer while the cold reality is that it is very much Laura and Laura alone. We argue, or discuss vociferously, about her treatment and treatment options. In the end, it really is Laura’s decision since it is her body that these nasty medicines go into.
As of today, I am feeling at peace with things. This is the down time where the medicine seem to be doing their job and I go to work and come home tired and play with the dogs and eat and watch tv before reading in bed with Laura. While the excitement of Tim graduating in June is real, I am already starting to dread spring time. For the past two years, in late May, we have gotten awful news about Laura’s cancer spreading and that time period just scares the dickens out of me. But as of now, I feel ok and even hopeful. Ani is thriving at Oxy and Tim is a little excited about the idea of college and going to Oregon Institute of Technology next year. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Ani being home for 5 days and Richard and his family coming down on the actual turkey eating day. It was great to be with family.
In a few short weeks, Ani will be home for a month and we all travel to Belize over the holidays. The idea of tropical snorkeling and a beachfront hotel sounds dreamy as it blows and rains at 35 degrees here on the north coast of Oregon. So we are all excited about the trip with the exeption of the dogs…
While the future is a haze with no clear borders, I feel pretty confident in our children which is really the most any of us can hope for. They both have a good head on their shoulders and seem to be well. As fall turns into winter and the holiday season is upon us, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has thought of Laura and helped us out over the past year and a half. One day at a time. Life goes on and remember to rout for the Portland Timbers this weekend in the league championship game!!!
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