Happy December

It feels like forever since I have written anything substantial on this.  Life goes on.  That is huge and sometimes I do not realise how huge that is.  Laura is well: tired a lot, nauseous occasionally, but doing well considered she is on chemo drugs.  Our next scans are in early January.  There you go, I say our next scans while it really is Laura’s scans.  At times, I find myself stepping into Laura’s mind and thinking it is both of us with cancer and both of us that are on this ugly journey of metastatic breast cancer while the cold reality is that it is very much Laura and Laura alone.  We argue, or discuss vociferously, about her treatment and treatment options.  In the end, it really is Laura’s decision since it is her body that these nasty medicines go into.

As of today, I am feeling at peace with things.  This is the down time where the medicine seem to be doing their job and I go to work and come home tired and play with the dogs and eat and watch tv before reading in bed with Laura.  While the excitement of Tim graduating in June is real, I am already starting to dread spring time.  For the past two years, in late May, we have gotten awful news about Laura’s cancer spreading and that time period just scares the dickens out of me.  But as of now, I feel ok and even hopeful.  Ani is thriving at Oxy and Tim is a little excited about the idea of college and going to Oregon Institute of Technology next year.  We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Ani being home for 5 days and Richard and his family coming down on the actual turkey eating day.  It was great to be with family.

In a few short weeks, Ani will be home for a month and we all travel to Belize over the holidays.  The idea of tropical snorkeling and a beachfront hotel sounds dreamy as it blows and rains at 35 degrees here on the north coast of Oregon.  So we are all excited about the trip with the exeption of the dogs…  

While the future is a haze with no clear borders, I feel pretty confident in our children which is really the most any of us can hope for.  They both have a good head on their shoulders and seem to be well.  As fall turns into winter and the holiday season is upon us, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has thought of Laura and helped us out over the past year and a half.  One day at a time.  Life goes on and remember to rout for the Portland Timbers this weekend in the league championship game!!!

Ahs girls soccer

Girls soccer at Astoria high school made tee shirts this year that says #pinkisnotacure

There is a really sweet article in the Daily Astorian about the team and tee shirts today.  I am trying to paste a link to that article but it seems harder than it should:

http://www.dailyastorian.com/local_sports/20151020/soccer-player-helps-pinkisnotacure-campaign#.Vim5cMyffK8.gmail

You might be able to read it in the pic below if you can make it bigger.

Oh on the family front: Ani is amazing and loving college which is how it should be. Can't wait till thanksgiving and I can hug my baby girl!!!  Tim has finished cross country with his last race yesterday.  He is extatic to be done with high school sports. I am melancholy.  He ran well and was third on his team in districts.  Laura saw dr rashe today and her blood panels were good.  I showered this morning so am clean and well!

Now the doggies!!!  Playing on the little beach below our house where we walk to:

All is good

Quick update:

Tim is homecoming king at Astoria high school!  Crowned at half time of a football game 

The same night Tim was crowned king Laura gave a talk at one of the brew pubs to 120 people about metastatic breast cancer. She got a standing ovation and then drove to the football game with 40 seconds left before half time!

My Aunt Sally from Maine and cousin Tim from Idaho came last weekend for a really sweet visit!

After Laura gave her talk at the brew pub she was the mentor for an Astoria high school senior who put on a "die in" for metastatic breast cancer research.  It was powerful and amazing:

Then tonight Laura gave a 5 minute talk about her cancer journey at the Astoria Column for Columbia memorial hospital breast cancer awareness month.  I met a very fine poodle!  Laura said no I can't dye Mia...

Now Laura's 3 public events are done for the month!  All is good.  She is dizzy a lot but doing very well!

Good news

 I hope most of you heard by now that Laura scans were very good yesterday. September 24, wereceive good news. There's no evidence of disease in her torso.  Only three or four very spots of cancer in her brain. Much better than 18 cancer mets last May.

I feel like I can breathe again. This road as a caretaker or cancer spouse is crazy. The ups and downs are oh so big.  I feel like we are definately on the upswing.  Hopefully Laura can tweet her medication to feel a little better.  

Tim had a cross country meet today. He got a personal best!  1844 in the 5 k or 3.1 mile race !  So proud of him.  Ani is thriving at occidental.  She loves her writing class!

Just 100 meters from the finish Tim is running well!

Pictures

Tim ran a great 5 k race at the ultimook race on Saturday. His time was 20:29 which is over a minute faster than he ran it last year!

Mud pit!

Mia was sick for a few days but is feeling much better now

Picture of Laura for her upcoming publicity.  

And finally, Tim's new van!!

Back to work for me and back to school for Tim.  Laura is stuck at home doing her 10:30 yoga class every day, walking the dogs and having a hot dinner waiting for her boys!  Can’t believe summer is over and the school year is upon us.  Ani loves her classes and most of her professors so that is great.  I am not up to speed yet with the new school year but I will get there.  Tim has been working so much at Texaco recently that he might actually like the break that school give him.

Laura just finished her week off of chemo.  Unfortunately, she never felt well during her week off.  Stupid chemo drugs are just wearing her down.  She has little bleeding cracks on some of her fingers and sores on her lips.  We go into Portland on or around Sept. 24 to get the results of her latest scans so we will know then if the whole brain radiation and chemo and such is shrinking the brain tumors or not.  Her long distance eye sight is also being effected but that might be a side effect of some of her drugs. 

The big news for us is that Tim bought a 1988 chevy van that he plans on making into a campervan and take off to explore Canada after he graduates in June.  It is too cool and he just loves it! 

I will add some photos to my next post in a couple minutes! 

Written July 25...

For some reason they did not get published...   This was written almost a month ago.

While this has been Laura's week off of taking daily chemo pills the effects have continued. She continues to do yoga daily and then rest on our couch and sit with whoever comes by.  Everyday she plans and does one chore or some writing.  We walk the dogs most days too.  Both kids are working a lot but the dogs take their care taking job very seriously!

Earlier this week Tim and I did a 850 mile two night camping trip to look at 4 Oregon colleges.  His fav was Oregon institute of technology in southern or about 50 miles from the California boarder.  We camped on the umpqua River and on creates lake both in the cascade mountains.  The second night was next to the pacific crest trail where the book I'm currently listening to, Wild, takes place. 

Nothing too much to report but just wanted to give a quick update.  

Dog days of August

Here we are going out to our last dinner as a whole family before Ani leaves on Sunday.  We had dinner at the glowingly popular buoy beer company in Astoria!  Ani hadn't had their gf deep fried cheese curds yet this summer and that is an Astoria must!

This afternoon Laura said well I know my pills are working.  I felt nauseous and sick this morning!  She was actually relieved.  You see our insurances changed the mail order chemo pills to a different pharmacy and she was not sure if they were the right pills since she has felt pretty good since taking them on Monday.  

It is kinda cruel the way she has to take her pills:  she has to take one pill every morning on an empty stomach and then her three chemo pills with breakfast.  Since the early morning pill is expensive she tries really hard not to throw it up but she feels the worst with an empty stomach...  At least she had some good days at the end of her week off from chemo and the beginning of this set of treatments.  She continues to do yoga five or six times a week and is even starting to run our three mile loop some days!  

I have been as busy as I always seem to be.  The kids and I went to conn. And Maine for a week without Laura.  It was hard leaving her but we had a good trip seeing friends and family. Our friend Lars and his daughter Annalee have been in port for a bit and we had some wonderful albacore tuna dinners from his fishing boat!  Driest night Laura and I are going to Portland to see the Broadway play Wicked. We have both wanted to see it for a long time!

Then both Laura and I are flying back to la with Ani!!  Laura just decided to come since she wants to see ani's dorm and meet her roommate.  I am really glad she is coming down to make sure we get her situated well!  Here are a few pics from my travels and our life:

My new hobby salmon fishing from my kayak.  

King salmon caught on my friends boat...

Laura with bills and dogs.

The mighty blueberry mountain in Maine

I've always loved this hick of quarts on sabatus (sp?) mt in Maine

Weather is closing in on the baldfaces in nh or me...

Louis tossing a lick in ani's direction as she tries to hide from the camera.  I don't think she reads my blog so hopefully it's ok I posted this!!!  Peace friends!!

Happy Saturday

Hi friends and family.  The ugly side of chemo has emerged...  Laura feels nauseous a lot and pukes occasionally.  At least she feels better with food in her belly so she mostly just snacks all day and doesn't eat real meals.  Maybe 8 to 10 little snacks eat day.  Hobbits are proud of her!  It's tricky since she is supposed to take her first pills in the morning before breakfast.  Every day it is a fight to keep those wicked expensive pills down.

Today will be the sixth day in a row that Laura and I go to yoga together.  In an effort to be as close as possible with her I have started yoga for the first time in my life and it's absolutely amazing!!  

Last night the kids (dogs included) and I went to watch the sunset on the beach.  Pretty sweet!  

Note Louis feet Resting on Laura.  The dogs take turns cuddling Laura in the couch in the late afternoon.

Week one of new chemo

Well we are still here.  Week one of the new chemo pills is done.  I think Laura is still having more reactions from the radiation then the chemotherapy.  She says her head is very funny feeling meaning she's a little dizzy and a little spacey. Mostly she's doing just fine.  Very tired but doing yoga almost every day.  The above picture is Laura and Rachel with four small dogs on the couch.  Not too much to report just wanted to give a quick update.  

Chemo again

We met with Laura's oncologist today, dr Raish.  He said to start chemo pills tonight and then the other biological agents tomorrow.  She takes the chemo pill twice a day on a full stomac and the biological agent once a day on an empty stomac.  

She does this for two weeks on and then one week off and repeat.  The dr. Said watch the side effects very closely since about 50% of people have to get their dose adjusted.   The most common side effect is hand and foot syndrome which causes a painful rash or cracking on hands and feet.

Laura is progressively more tired and nauseous from the radiation but doing alright.  Here is a pic of Louis just because!

Week off

Whole brain radiation is done!  Laura has a week off before the chemo starts!!!  The full effects of the radiation take a couple to 3 weeks to kick in so Laura is getting more tired each day but her spirits have been good up till yesterday when her hair started really falling out.  Intellectually with 17 or so brain rumors losing ones hair isn't really a big deal but it is.  It says cancer.  Laura has never been one to care too much about the western ideals of beauty- meaning that she didn't wear make up till she lost her eyebrows and such.  But it is hard for a woman to lose her hair.

We have had a good week though!  Friends gave us a night and dinner at a hotel on the long beach peninsula half an hour away.  We had a sweet mini vacation Wednesday night.  

Yoga continues to really help Laura and I have been going three or four days a week too.  It really is amazing. 

Last weekend, I drove down to San Francisco with Rachel, Jeremy and Mark to see two nights of the grateful dead.  We happened to be in San Fran during gay pride just after the Supreme Court made gay marriage legal. It was cool to say the least!  The shows were wonderful too! So fun. We drive home Monday and I actually slept in for several days this week catching up on sleep.

So happy 4th of July everyone!!!  I will listen to some music today down at a brewery and we will have dinner with John and Rachel Whisler I assume probably at our house.  On Sunday, we will watch the women's World Cup final in Portland and the go to a Portland Timbers soccer game. We wi spend the night in Portland at our friend Margaret's house she is letting us use and then a dr appointment Monday and Laura's firs t chemo pill...

Oh the kids you ask??  We don't see them too much. Ani has two jobs: crest motel breakfast person and big 5 sporting goods and Tim is at texico gas station every day but Monday's.  He will take a few days off later in July to do a little college tour with me. Though!!!  Peace out friends and family!!!