Monday, June 30, 2014

Father's Day poem by Ani

This is a poem Ani wrote for me for fathers day this year while we were on a plane flying east.

Jon: A Poem
By Ani Graves
Fathers Day on a plane 2014

Jon may not be very tall,
But Jon will always take the fall.
Because he truly has no greed,
Except for when it comes to food,
Because Jon can have quite the mood
If his blood sugar gets too low.
So before his anger starts to show,
Jon will need a nice big snack.
You’ll know it’s Jon when you hear a quack,
Because that’s the sound of his beloved phone.
Her name is Jodi and she gets her own thrown.
Jon may sing out of key,
But I really do decree
That his songwriting skills
Will give people the chills.
Jon needs coffee right away
To welcome in the brand new day.
In airports Jon used to be so grumpy.
But there’s a new Airport Jon who’s happy, not dumpy.
Jon is the most popular guy in school.
To students and teachers alike he’s so cool.
But does he actually do any work?
Or does he just torment kids with a smirk?
No one may every find out,
Dut Jon is a great father with no doubt.
He tends to his children’s every need,
From killing spiders to helping them (mis)read.
So in conclusion, Jon is the best.

To have him as my dad, I am quite blessed.      (hahahahahahaha #sorry)

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Shaved

I shaved Laura's head today with a razor and shaving cream!  There is a resemblance to the wife in the Cone Heads on SNL in the 1070's!!!  We had a good walk and Warched some entertaining soccer!  Go Columbia!  And Chile deserved to win....

Friday, June 27, 2014

day in the life of Laura

Chemo is hitting Laura hard.  It is 3 days since her second chemo so she is drained.  Here is her day: up at 8:47 when Husband comes home and starts puttering to host a small watching the world cup party.  Then she slept from 11 to 1 and ate and watched The Sopranos and then slept and then got up around 330 and swam and had a massage for her lymphedema in her right arm.  Then after dinner Laura and I went out with the Whisler’s to see Hook and Anchor a sweet local band. (http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-22713-introducing_hook_anchor.html) And then home for sleep.  While Laura doesn’t feel good, she wants to do things together and is a trooper.  We are still trying to figure out this whole thing of metastatic breast cancer.  It has been a little over a month since she got her diagnosis. 
I can only speak for myself but I am still reeling from the diagnosis.  I’m angry, sad and feel that life is unfair.   With Ani going off to college in less than 2 month, we have been thinking and talking a lot over th past two years about life after kids at home full time.  Now while we will still have life without kids at home in 2 years, it will be a life with treatments and cancer as well as an empty nest.  I feel ripped off!  At least today is my last day of work before I get to take most of the next two months off.

Since both Tim and Ani are working full time this summer, Laura and I will have m-f 8-5 empty nest situation where we can practice and enjoy each other and walk the dog!
USA v Germany World Cup
Mia takes her job of care giver very seriously

Listening to Hook and Anchor

Monday, June 23, 2014

New hair cut

Wedding pics


Chemo

Today is Laura's second chemo. Here goes $45000 of drugs into Laura!!  Her dr was very happy about the progress from the first chemo.  As I had mentioned earlier, the couple centimeter lump of cancer on her neck has gone away. He is pleased that the chemo and biological agents are working.  She will have her third chemo on July 14 and then scans about 2.5 weeks after that.  So all in all it is good news today. She really wants to get home to Astoria tonight to see our little white dog!

Tofu pad Thai at chemo!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Hair

Poor Laura.  Her hair is falling out like leaves in fall...  Monday is chemo.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

wanting things to move faster

So as of today, day 10 after Laura's first chemo this time around, I am ready for her to be feeling better.  I was hoping that she would be feeling fine as of today, but NO!  I know I am rushing things, but she still feels icky from chemo...  That's what I know today. 

Oh that and Ani and I saw a really exciting Timbers soccer game last night complete with 2 red cards, a coach getting tossed and the Timbers tying it up in extra added time!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Laura update- kinda

I am hopeful.  The cancer lump on Laura’s neck that started this whole thang is smaller.  Last night, while watching either The Wire or USA Build up to the World Cup special, Laura said something like, I think this lump is smaller.  I rooted around in her neck and with my vast medical background confirmed it is definitely smaller.  I am really excited that the chemo cocktail is attacking and killing and making life bad for the cancer within.

However, as I was trying to fall asleep last night, I could not help but thing of the roller coaster of medical information.  Hope, despair, good news bad news.  My thoughts drifted to Madeline, Todd, Jim and years back my Dad’s “friend” Woody who died of AIDS 6 months before my Dad.  There are good positive scans, and then bad ones.  There is hope and then none.  But this mirrors life and the ups and downs of everyday existents.  We are just magnified somehow now.
That being said, the sun of a new day, the birds at the feeder, the eagle flying low over our house and random teenage girl sleeping in a sleeping bag on our KITCHEN floor (not even on the couch 20 feet away) all make me hopeful and glad.  While we are still 8-10 weeks away from getting new scans, I believe and feel the chemo is working and the stupid cancer is retreating into the depths of Mordor where it came from.  Size the day.  One day at a time and live and love like there is no tomorrow.  All Hallmark Card liners, but somehow appropriate.

Also, I am taking Ani and two of her long time- 6th grade- soccer teammates to the Timbers Game tonight!  Breathe and feel the sunshine on your face.


Wow this is a bit over the top corny…

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

world cup

OK, I can't even believe the World Cup is starting the day after tomorrow!!!!  I also can't believe I will be traveling a full 7 days of it...  We will even miss a USA v Portugal game while flying.  But thank goodness for DVR technology.  A couple years ago, Ani and I were talking about going to Brazil for this massive event for her graduation present.  Now, it seems good we didn't get tickets and leave...

 SO, for those interested as well as for myself while traveling, here is the schedule for the round robin stage of the World Cup.


All Times Pacific Dailight Time
12-Jun A1. Brazil vs. A2. Croatia 1:00 PM ESPN
13-Jun A3. Mexico vs. A4. Cameroon 9:00 AM ESPN2
13-Jun B1. Spain vs. B2 Netherlands 12:00 PM ESPN
13-Jun  B3. Chile vs. B4. Australia 3:00 PM ESPN2
14-Jun C1. Colombia vs. C2. Greece  9:00 AM ABC
14-Jun D1. Uruguay vs. D2. Costa Rica 12:00 PM ABC
14-Jun D3. England vs. D4. Italy 3:00 PM ESPN
14-Jun  C3. Ivory Coast vs. C4. Japan  6:00 PM ESPN
15-Jun E1. Switzerland vs. E2. Ecuador 9:00 AM ABC
15-Jun E3. France vs. E4. Honduras 12:00 PM ABC
15-Jun  F1. Argentina vs. F2. Bosnia-Herzegovina 3:00 PM ESPN
16-Jun  G1. Germany vs. G2. Portugal 9:00 AM ESPN
16-Jun  F3. Iran vs. F4. Nigeria 12:00 PM ESPM
16-Jun G3. Ghana vs. G4. United States 3:00 PM ESPN
17-Jun  H1. Belgium vs. H2. Algeria 9:00 AM ESPN
17-Jun Brazil vs. A3. Mexico  12:00 PM ESPN
17-Jun  H3. Russia vs. H4. South Korea  3:00 PM espn
18-Jun  B4. Australia vs. B2. Netherlands 9:00 AM ESPN
18-Jun  B1. Spain vs. B3. Chile  12:00 PM espn
18-Jun  A4. Cameroon vs. A2. Croatia 3:00 PM ESPN
19-Jun C1. Colombia vs. C3. Ivory Coast  9:00 AM ESPN
19-Jun D1. Uruguay vs. D3. England 12:00 PM ESPN
19-Jun C4. Japan vs. C2. Greece  3:00 PM ESPN
20-Jun  D4. Italy vs. D2. Costa Rica  9:00 AM ESPN
20-Jun  E1. Switzerland vs. E3. France  12:00 PM ESPN
20-Jun  E4. Honduras vs. E2. Ecuador 3:00 PM ESPN
21-Jun  F1. Argentina vs. F3. Iran 9:00 AM ESPN
21-Jun G1. Germany vs. G3. Ghana 12:00 PM ESPN
21-Jun F4. Nigeria vs. F2. Bosnia-Herzegovina 3:00 PM ESPN
22-Jun  H1. Belgium vs. H3. Russia 9:00 AM ABC
22-Jun  H4. South Korea vs. H2. Algeria 12:00 PM ABC
22-Jun G4. United States vs. G2. Portugal  3:00 PM ESPN
23-Jun  B2. Netherlands vs. B2. Chile 9:00 AM ESPN
23-Jun  B4. Australia vs. B1. Spain 9:00 AM ESPN2
23-Jun A2. Croatia vs. A3. Mexico 1:00 PM ESPN
23-Jun A4. Cameroon vs. A1. Brazil  1:00 PM ESPN2
24-Jun  D4. Italy vs. D1. Uruguay 9:00 AM ESPN
24-Jun D2. Costa Rica vs. D3. England  9:00 AM ESPN2
24-Jun Japan vs. C1. Colombia 1:00 PM ESPN
24-Jun C2. Greece vs. C3. Ivory Coast 1:00 PM ESPN2
25-Jun F4. Nigeria vs. F1. Argentina 9:00 AM ESPN
25-Jun F2. Bosnia-Herzegovina vs. F3. Iran 9:00 AM ESPN2
25-Jun  E2. Ecuador vs. E3. France 1:00 PM ESPN
25-Jun  E4. Honduras vs. E1. Switzerland 1:00 PM ESPN2
26-Jun G4. United States vs. G1. Germany 9:00 AM ESPN
26-Jun G2. Portugal vs. G3. Ghana 9:00 AM ESPN2
26-Jun H4. South Korea vs. H1. Belgium 1:00 PM ESPN
26-Jun H2. Algeria vs. H3. Russia 1:00 PM ESPN2
SATURDAY JUNE 28
Round of 16 starts at 9 am on ABC!!!!

Monday, June 9, 2014

After Laura's coffenberry lake swim

Laura update

Stupid cancer!  Laura continues to feel the chemo effects.  Bad smells in the nose. Icky taste in the mouth.  Nose bleeds and can't talk too much cause her throat is icky.  On the plus side her voice is so deep and sexy now!!!  Mouth sores and chin zits make things stupid but we had a wonderful graduation party for Ani last night.  We are just so proud of Ani and Laura made it through the entire party smiling and socializing.  Mia gets a hair cut today and that is the big excitement here. 

Friday, June 6, 2014

Ani valedictorian


Pics from last weekend
Lady Washington was visiting last weekend
Rachel taking a break from cleaning our house and gardening

Mia is working hard being a therapy dog!

Good news is good

It's amazing what a little good news can do!  After hearing that Laura's brain MRI was clear, I am feeling a lot better about things.  Unfortunately, chemo effects are definitely kicking in.  Laura's voice and throat hurt.

Ani had her awards night last night!  We are so proud of her!!!  She got $10K in local scholarships.  Today there was a school awards assembly where they read off the total amount that students have gotten in award money from all scholarships and Ani was second in her graduating class with $174K in total scholarships over 4 years!  Crazy!  My Mom and Dad are here from Maine.  We went out to the Buoy Beer Company for dinner and I had crawdads!

Graduation parties tonight and then Ani gives her speech and graduates tomorrow!!!

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Good news

The brain MRI Laura had yesterday, June 3, was clean!!  No brain cancer!!!

waiting

Waiting.  Waiting for brain MRI results.  Waiting for next scans in 9-10 weeks to see if the current chemo regiment is working.  Waiting for Ani to graduate this Saturday.  Waiting for summer.  Waiting for Laura’s last chemo 2 days ago to kick in and watch her start the downhill slide into feeling ickier but hopefully since this is the first chemo, she won’t feel too bad.  Waiting for a fun trip back east for a wedding and have some good family time.  Waiting for the World Cup.  Waiting for the USA to not move out of its group so I can root for another team.


It feels like things are on hold while the rest of the world is going 100 mph with graduation hysteria.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Here are some pictures of good times this spring!  Today was a beautiful day and we are doing well.  Tim's track awards and I went to a state semi finals baseball game in the sun where Knappa lost a thriller of a game 3-2...






Medical info for those who want details

Laura has a recurrence of the breast cancer she had in 2012 and was operated on in January of 2013.  It is HER2+, estrogen +, progesterone + metastatic cancer.  The Ki 67 value is high which shows it is a fast growing cancer.  There are spots of cancer in her lymph nodes in her right shoulder and on her chest and sternum as well as spots in her lungs and liver.  Her liver function is still good, but her breathing is not great.  Much of her breathing problems are from the scaring of the radiation she got in March and April 2013, but some could be attributed to the cancer spots.  “Spots” is the term the medical oncologist used and it means cancer from 2 mm to 3 cm.  Most of the spots are under 1 cm, but there are some clusters in her lungs and liver with spots of 2-3 cm.

Timeline:
In late March, Laura had a CT scan that showed no cancer.  She woke up on Wed. May 21 with a marble sized lump on the right side of her neck.  She saw her medical oncologist that day and had the lump biopsied on Friday May 23.  Wednesday, May 28 she found out it was cancer and we then went to Portland on Thurs. May 29 for scans and to see the medical oncologist.  The bone scans found nothing in her bones, but the CT scans found cancer throughout.  Her first chemo is Monday June 2 in Portland followed by a brain MRI on June 3 in Astoria.

Her chemo will be taxotere, herceptin and perjeta.  Taxotere is a classic chemo drug while the other two are specific biologic agents that attack the cells of HER2+ breast cancer.  She had two of the drugs before, but perjeta is a new drug was not available until mid-2013.  The hope is the biologics will really specifically attack and suppress the cancer cells.  After 3 treatments, she will be scanned and if it is working will get 3 more treatments.  The chemo is every 3 weeks for a potential cycle of 6 times.  Then the Taxotere will stop and she will continue the Herceptin and perjeta for a full year as long as it is helping.

The oncologist said her cancer is not curable but treatable.  We are trying to tamp down the cancer to prolong both her life and quality of life.

Laura's hair cut




Mia is already in her position to help Laura!!!

starting



My wife has metastatic breast cancer.  I am starting this blog to document our journey, outlet for my thoughts and fears as well as a venue to put some photos.  Right now it all seems so unfair that her cancer has recurred and spread throughout her body, I can’t really hope anything will work.  I am numb.  Logically, I know that the chemo regiment and biological agents created to attack HER2 + should help.  I know people live for years with metastatic cancer, but now less then a week after the recurrence and diagnosis, I find it hard to hope.  Laura won the lottery but the wrong one.

She has been in touch with a woman who has lived with metastatic breast cancer for 10 years including 4 years of 11 different brain tumors.  I should believe our good medical oncologist when he thinks he can treat the cancer and tamp it down to both prolong her life as well as quality of life.  It’s just hard to believe in anything good.  That being said, the sun was warm yesterday; the garden is thriving and American white pelicans landed in Alderbrook lagoon on Saturday.  Hope will come.  We are being present and enjoying time with each other and our kids.

according to WebMD (The internet is where I get all my information!  Just kidding):

Today, say the MD Anderson researchers, as many as 40% of women with recurrent or metastatic breast cancer survive at least five years. "More and more, both doctors and patients approach it as a chronic condition," says Eric Winer, MD, director of the Breast Program at Boston's Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. "We can't cure it, but we can manage it for many years."