Saturday, August 31, 2019

August 31, 2012




Today is the 7 year anniversary of Laura getting the diagnosis of having Breast Cancer. I am going write a too long log of her treatments as I look at the book I have had at every doctor appointment she has had. I remember so vividly driving to Longview WA and seeing a doctor that neither of us liked and him telling Laura that she had breast cancer. It was a few days before Tim started ninth grade and Ani started her Junior year of High School. Here is a brief summary of Laura's treatments:
Sept. 2012 started chemo of Taxater and Herceptin and one other chemo drug- one infusion in a port every three weeks for six total infusions.

Jan 2013- surgery- double mastectomy, remove the port, remove the chemoed cancer and many if not most lymph nodes under her right arm pit. She continues having infusions of Herceptin every three weeks.

March 2013- 35 days of radiation in Longview WA. She rode a radiation bus many days and I and friends drove her some too.  Then she was declared cancer free and had a higher than 90% chance of being cancer free for 10 years given how young and in good physical shape she was.  In April of 2012, Laura and I did a long weekend in San Diego as a holiday and celebration which was a lovely weekend. I still want to go back to San Diego and play there again.

Then in Sept of 2013 she started a 9 month program at Clatsop Community College to become a Medical Assistant. 

May 2014, she has a bump on her neck, gets it biopsied and she finds out her cancer has metastasized into her lymph system, lungs and liver. She starts a new round of chemo every three weeks that is projeta, herceptin and taxall or taxater. That controls that cancer in her body.

May 2015 Laura is starting to have troubles doing flip turns in the pool. She gets disoriented and asks her doctor for a brain MRI. All during this time, Laura is swimming 1-2 miles 5 days a week at our pool and continues to run 3-5 miles on her non swim days...  The brain MRI shows hundreds of small tumors throughout her brain. She gets 5 days of whole brain radiation in June of 2015.  In retrospect, the whole brain radiation did save her life but was very toxic too. Her radiation Oncologist in Portland who did the whole brain radiation and subsequent gamma knife surgery said in May of 2019 that Laura is one of three people nation wide who is still alive from whole brain radiation from June of 2015 with the kind of cancer she has. He said, in retrospect, that 50% of the people who had whole brain radiation in June of 2015 died within 7 months.  Laura is one tough chick.  Also her chemo changed at this point to a pill that was taken daily and caused her fissures on her finger tips and feet. ick. 

Then in January and June of 2016, she had gamma knife sessions where they point 256 gamma radiation beams through her head and blast one small spot with gamma radiation to zap brain tumors. 

June 2016 she started TDM-1 chemo every three weeks which she was on until she stopped chemo in July 2019. It had the least side effects of any of the chemos she has been on.  Then things fell apart this May.

Laura sat up today from 9-1130 and ate some pancakes and yogurt and drank some water.  She cannot really talk too well or at all. She has said oh my god and thank you to Ani once and some babbling stuff too.  We know you all love her so. Thank you for caring and being close.



Friday, August 30, 2019

just sleepin'

Laura is now on oxygen. Hospice came over again today and Laura's oxygen levels were pretty low so they had oxygen delivered. She really hasn't gotten out of bed today. When she is awake her words are all mixed up. She cannot really speak right now and I am not sure how much she understands. The hospice nurse said that more oxygen might help her speaking. Yesterday she was talking in tongues mostly too so it might be a brain bleed or the nasty cancer seeping into the speech area of her brain. Poor girls is going down faster and faster. 

Ani spent Thursday night in Portland after dropping Sam and Barbara off at PDX. She is home now. Rachel and Cathy (and Jenna for an hour) came over for most of today and cleaned and sat with Laura and fed me food. Ben, Kim, Kincaid and Violet visited too. It's hard seeing Laura slipping away but she is surrounded by friends and our kids and dogs.











Wednesday, August 28, 2019

sleeping

Hey all...  Laura slept all day today but got up around 5 to eat a little and of course some cake to keep up the cake eating record. Sam and Barbara are going back to PDX and flying home tomorrow first thing so they said good night and bye to Laura tonight. Ani is driving them back to PDX in the AM.





hard few days

Laura has had a hard few days. While I was going to Portland to pick up her parents, Sam and Barbara, she fell hard in the shower. It took Ani and Tim about ten minutes to get her on her feet and then another ten minutes to get her back to bed. A little up close and personal time for the kids with their Mom.

Then Monday night, Laura fell three times at night and then Tuesday fell again in the shower.  She is on morphine for the pain and has bruises all over. Poor thing. Her are  some pics of Sam and Barbara and Laura and such.








Friday, August 23, 2019

a little more singin

The above video is Laura singing part of Redemption Song in 2015 after her whole brain radiation. She had to stop playing her guitar since the strings hurt her already cracked fingers, but the Yuke strings are a lot softer... 


Laura has been awake a lot more the last two days.  Up from 10-6 and then sleeping through the night. She is generally sad and understands she is not well. She still is eating well and loves her doggies though.

Monday, August 19, 2019

Oh Boy and quotes from Laura

Laura's Hospice Nurse, Dana, taking vitals. Mia and Louis are keeping a close eye on them both.
A bald eagle sitting in a tree next to our house
Sharron and Linda (and maybe others) from Camp Norwich days had a cake made for Laura! It is chocolate and amazing!

Eating said cake

A Dog and his Girl

Rare Tim pic.  We got BBQ take out from Smokin' Bones Saturday.


Tuna dinner. Thanks Lars for catching us tuna! Deep fried and raw!

Vicious

Laura's still eating cake! It has been since mid July that Laura has had at least one if not three pieces of layer cake every single day! thats quite an accomplishment. I will look at a calendar and figure out when the streak really started.
Today Laura has been saying,"Oh Boy" a lot. She is napping now yet Hospice nurse is on her way. The nice Hospice nurse, Dana, will talk with me, go over meds and such and then go upstairs and get vitals on Laura and then leave.

Laura said she feels best when lying down but she doesn't want to be alone.  I think we will get another bed to have down stairs in the living room where we had a room for a bit.  That way she can nap down here too.  Laura wants to go out so we are going to try to see the movie Blinded by the Light at 3 today.  Laura had gravlax and garden peas, beans and cheese for lunch.

I started keeping Laura quotes on my phone in mid-May when her brain started to go a bit wacky. Here are some of her quotes:

It’s kinda strange how you are into and out of the way of being

Stop telling me what to do and asking me questions

I’ve done this all before but it’s really hard. I don’t know what to make of it all

I know that you can’t have the best time with every person for every single minute but I wish it could
Be truth

I’m tired but I’m not really tired

Jon you sing or whistle at times And it’s so bad.  You should stop

I’m frustrated to not be able to turn myself into an animal.  I'm just not very good at it. 
Rachel asked does that bother you a lot or a little? Laura. Just a little

The reason that I feel like the world is just spinning is that the world is spinning.

Oh boy. Wow I can’t stop saying oh boy

I need more nutritional beans and a big amount of layer cake


Saturday, August 17, 2019

Ani

Pick a Blackberry...

Eat a blackberry. Its like picking with kids in that she picks but eats everything!!!!  haha

This is totally a food pic. Smoked salmon and gravlax from salmon I caught and processed.  Plus goat cheese and pesto which is a perennial costco foraged favorite and smoked gouda cheese and some fruit.

nothing to say but cuddles.  Laura likes cuddles right now

ya that
Ani is moving back home next Friday.  She might take an online geology class in the fall to finish her PSU geology degree or just wait a term.  She is the bomb. Ani really wants and probably, no definitely, needs to be here.  Ani told Laura that she was moving back when cuddling in bed and Laura said,"Wow, really, I would love that, Wow."

We went to the beach today. See pics.  We ate BBQ take out for lunch (shout out to Lauren...) and Laura napped. Then we watched most of the movie La La Land which we both love how vibrant and sweet it is.  But the fact is that Laura is having a hard time.  She is a good sport, and wants to be with us, but she asked me today,"will I survive this?" and I said no.  Its sad and scary.  She didn't respond.

Laura kept saying how hard things are today. She really likes that we are all here and with her. I know this is hard but it's just how it is. Love you all who are reading.


Pictures from the beach

Mia has a bad disk and needs to stay on the lesh

Nothing to say




We drove down south to Sun Set Beach where car, no Trucks, are allowed to drive onto the beach. With Saturday traffic it seemed easier than going through town to Fort Stevens.  And way easier beach access.  
kisses

While I was fishing the dogs took good care of Laura.  Ani and Tim were home too. 

Laura's 50th birthday! Six years ago.
I fished this morning but didn't catch.  Yesterday we caught two chinook salmon. 

When I got home, Laura said she just does't feel good.  She said she feels like someone is made at her but she doesn't have physical pain.  I told her that no one is mad at her and her brain is just being Tricksy on her.

She wants to go to the beach, so we are off to the Pacific Ocean.  More pics to come, Im sure.

Friday, August 16, 2019

Pics from Sharon Spitzer Bridge and Lauren Klein Zeligson of my HOT wife

Laura's Senior Picture in 1981

Sharon Spitzer Bridge, Nancy Shrair and Laura in high school

Again Laura, Sharon and Nancy

Laura with Becca Roth

Laura and Liz Ellen at camp
Lauren Klein (Zeligson)'s house 

Can you say "Annie Hall" much

Laura's junior prom

Lauren Klein Zeligson, Janet Guiliano and Laura at their senior banquet