a little more singin

The above video is Laura singing part of Redemption Song in 2015 after her whole brain radiation. She had to stop playing her guitar since the strings hurt her already cracked fingers, but the Yuke strings are a lot softer... 

Laura has been awake a lot more the last two days.  Up from 10-6 and then sleeping through the night. She is generally sad and understands she is not well. She still is eating well and loves her doggies though.

Oh Boy and quotes from Laura

Laura's Hospice Nurse, Dana, taking vitals. Mia and Louis are keeping a close eye on them both.

A bald eagle sitting in a tree next to our house

Sharron and Linda (and maybe others) from Camp Norwich days had a cake made for Laura! It is chocolate and amazing!

Eating said cake

A Dog and his Girl

Rare Tim pic.  We got BBQ take out from Smokin' Bones Saturday.

Tuna dinner. Thanks Lars for catching us tuna! Deep fried and raw!

Vicious

Laura's still eating cake! It has been since mid July that Laura has had at least one if not three pieces of layer cake every single day! thats quite an accomplishment. I will look at a calendar and figure out when the streak really started.

Today Laura has been saying,"Oh Boy" a lot. She is napping now yet Hospice nurse is on her way. The nice Hospice nurse, Dana, will talk with me, go over meds and such and then go upstairs and get vitals on Laura and then leave.

Laura said she feels best when lying down but she doesn't want to be alone.  I think we will get another bed to have down stairs in the living room where we had a room for a bit.  That way she can nap down here too.  Laura wants to go out so we are going to try to see the movie Blinded by the Light at 3 today.  Laura had gravlax and garden peas, beans and cheese for lunch.

I started keeping Laura quotes on my phone in mid-May when her brain started to go a bit wacky. Here are some of her quotes:

It’s kinda strange how you are into and out of the way of being

Stop telling me what to do and asking me questions

I’ve done this all before but it’s really hard. I don’t know what to make of it all

I know that you can’t have the best time with every person for every single minute but I wish it could
Be truth

I’m tired but I’m not really tired

Jon you sing or whistle at times And it’s so bad.  You should stop

I’m frustrated to not be able to turn myself into an animal.  I'm just not very good at it. 

Rachel asked does that bother you a lot or a little? Laura. Just a little

The reason that I feel like the world is just spinning is that the world is spinning.

Oh boy. Wow I can’t stop saying oh boy

I need more nutritional beans and a big amount of layer cake

Ani

Pick a Blackberry...

Eat a blackberry. Its like picking with kids in that she picks but eats everything!!!!  haha

This is totally a food pic. Smoked salmon and gravlax from salmon I caught and processed.  Plus goat cheese and pesto which is a perennial costco foraged favorite and smoked gouda cheese and some fruit.

nothing to say but cuddles.  Laura likes cuddles right now

ya that

Ani is moving back home next Friday.  She might take an online geology class in the fall to finish her PSU geology degree or just wait a term.  She is the bomb. Ani really wants and probably, no definitely, needs to be here.  Ani told Laura that she was moving back when cuddling in bed and Laura said,"Wow, really, I would love that, Wow."

We went to the beach today. See pics.  We ate BBQ take out for lunch (shout out to Lauren...) and Laura napped. Then we watched most of the movie La La Land which we both love how vibrant and sweet it is.  But the fact is that Laura is having a hard time.  She is a good sport, and wants to be with us, but she asked me today,"will I survive this?" and I said no.  Its sad and scary.  She didn't respond.

Laura kept saying how hard things are today. She really likes that we are all here and with her. I know this is hard but it's just how it is. Love you all who are reading.

Pictures from the beach

Mia has a bad disk and needs to stay on the lesh

Nothing to say

We drove down south to Sun Set Beach where car, no Trucks, are allowed to drive onto the beach. With Saturday traffic it seemed easier than going through town to Fort Stevens.  And way easier beach access.  

kisses

While I was fishing the dogs took good care of Laura.  Ani and Tim were home too. 

Laura's 50th birthday! Six years ago.

I fished this morning but didn't catch.  Yesterday we caught two chinook salmon. 

When I got home, Laura said she just does't feel good.  She said she feels like someone is made at her but she doesn't have physical pain.  I told her that no one is mad at her and her brain is just being Tricksy on her.

She wants to go to the beach, so we are off to the Pacific Ocean.  More pics to come, Im sure.

Pics from Sharon Spitzer Bridge and Lauren Klein Zeligson of my HOT wife

Laura's Senior Picture in 1981

Sharon Spitzer Bridge, Nancy Shrair and Laura in high school

Again Laura, Sharon and Nancy

Laura with Becca Roth

Laura and Liz Ellen at camp

Lauren Klein (Zeligson)'s house 

Can you say "Annie Hall" much

Laura's junior prom

Lauren Klein Zeligson, Janet Guiliano and Laura at their senior banquet

Friday Morning

Rachel with Louis before watching the Portland Timbers Wed. night. She has a new sweet Timbers scarf. Timbers won but tried to loose at the end... oh Timbers...

Pre dinner crackers and cheese. Laura (and louis) are looking through the picture album that we are making for Laura. We ask people to bring a page or two of pics and memories they have of Laura. If anyone out there in computer land wants to give, send or email a page, I am happy to put it in Laura's "memory" album.

Sunset from our deck a couple days ago

It's Friday so I have a lovely long weekend ahead of me.  Salmon is in the smoker, dogs have been out, coffee is poured, plants are being watered and best of all Ani is coming home today! I will go out Salmon fishing with Gordon after Ani gets home.  You'll be proud of me, I am going to see a counselor on Monday to talk about cancer, hospice and such. My new boss told me that he would approve me taking Mondays and Fridays off, but he would feel better about approving the time off if I would see a counselor. I think I will like working for/with him.

Laura continues to change every couple days. While she is not in any pain, she is starting to say,"I don't like this." She doesn't like how tired she is; how she can't follow a conversation; how she needs help with everything...  She is always saying I'm sorry to me or thank you so much for being nice to me.  She feels badly that she can't do much by herself.

Last weekend we moved our bedroom back upstairs. The hospice nurse OKed the move as long as someone was holding her hand/arm while going up and down the stairs. She is still asking to "go home" but understands where we are sleeping. We are both sleeping so much better since she can find the bathroom and then get back into bed in the middle of the night. We have gates at both ends of the stairs and so far she has navigated the stairs just fine with all our help. I have emptied all the drawers and cabinets in the bathroom. On Wed. Connie B. was taking care of Laura and Connie found her chewing on an ear plug and then told Connie it was arnica...

Laura really likes it when I lie down with her so I have been taking an hour nap when I get home from work at 3 this week. For a hyper guy like me, it feels wonderful to just lie down and rub her back. My cousin, Tim, suggested I start this blog up again to help people know what is going on. Now, though it is more for me. It feels good writing and posting pictures. I will try to get pics of Laura's care giver and see if her hospice nurse is ok with me taking a pic of her too... Since Ani will be home, I plan to be out of the mighty Columbia searching for salmon. Have a good day and be as good to yourself as you are to your loved ones. OXOXO